Thursday 6 September 2012

In Which I Take the Bible Literally (because what the hell could this be a metaphor for?)

Short one today.

I don't understand how people who believe in the Christian concept of God can ignore the Old Testament.  There is a bit (2 Kings 2:23-24, since you asked) where this chap Elisa gets the piss taken out of him by these kids, at least 42 of them. I suppose there was a big crowd of them because there wasn't much to do for fun back in the Old Testament. Probably seeing someone bald was such a novelty because back in those days people would normally be dead before managing to make it to the follically challenged stage.To give you some context, it would be to contemporary kids as if there suddenly appeared a  bunch of free Pogs and Game Gears, or whatever the kids are playing with nowadays. Anyway, this slaphead wasn't exactly happy with the mockery, so "he cursed them in the name of the Lord". God, being a rational and all-loving deity had to show he was strict in order that these children might learn respect. What, then, did he do ? Why, he did exactly the same thing that you and I would have done in his position- conjure up a couple of bears to maul 42 of the children to death . Absolute power corrupts absolutely. More on this tomorrow, kids, when I tell you my favourite bible story...

Today's Tune

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