In Which I Am Lessening

So it turns out that Sir Jimmy Savile OBE is an anagram of A Bossier Evil Jimmy, but I'm not touching that one with a barge pole. Next we'll be finding out that Tony Hart used mulched up Rwandan war orphans for paint, or that Paul and Barry Chuckle used to spitroast Gordon the Gopher. To me, to you! Oh dear, oh dear.
 
HAPPIER THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT. Or different things, anyway. So I might have to see the doctor about the medication I've been taking, because a few times after taking the pills I've felt very odd indeed. I'm beginning to think the doctors don't know their stuff, so I'm not following the instructions on the pack. As it is, I feel tingly and have a swimming head and find it difficult to focus. I'm sure it'd be even worse if I followed the instructions in the packet and didn't use them as suppositories. HA! But seriously, I'm dying.

That might be a tad melodramatic. I may have a wasting away disease type thing though. I weighed myself yesterday and found out I've lost eight pounds. No, I've really lost them. No idea where they went. It's not like I took the most massive bum busting shit before I weighed myself. I haven't been following the patented Get-Vaguely-In-Shape-Exercise-Program, either. It was the 10th of September when I determined not to be such a fatty-boom-boom, according to the blog, and for those with decent memories I DO fit more comfortably into the t-shirt now. The weight loss surely can't be due to the lack of gluten, because I've cut that out since the 25th of July. If I'd been losing weight since then at the same rate, I'd weigh nine and a half stone, so we can safely rule out a change of diet being the cause. Have I been exercising more? Not really. Have I been eating less? I don't think so. Hmm. I'd rather be a fatty boom-boom to be honest if it meant I was able to give myself a muffin top with, well, muffin tops.

Here's a thing, though. You know how some people have an oh-shit-I'm-going-to-die experience and then time slows down and their life flashes before their eyes? Well I have experienced a slightly different thing, and I don't need to be in a potentially fatal scenario. I HAVE actually been in one or two potentially fatal scenarios, and as I recall, I just thought "shiiiiiiittttt....", rather than getting to see myself score that amazing screamer in uni-hoc that secured the bronze place for a certain Roman Catholic primary school again. People who saw it and remember it will say it was a fluke, but it was MY fluke, dammit. Anyway. What happens to me is that apropos of nothing, I will suddenly have the most vivid recollection of something in my past- no, recollection isn't strong enough. For one tiny moment, I'm at that exact moment in my life feeling exactly how I did then, and straight after it's like being suddenly woken from a dream. I'm not a spiritual person (I've burned down churches of all the major denominations of the world) but it has occurred to me that these piecemeal sharp shiny shards of memory might be what I get instead of the down-in-one experience of others. The thing is, I seem to be having more of these lately. Co-incidence? Or merely chance? Regardless, I still intend to use my brain melting as an excuse if I lose to D at Pro Evo. As it is, he already dismantles my controller when I'm gone and replaces the insides with weevils. I have no idea where he gets them from.

Today's Tune