I wasn't going to write a blog entry today, but then Silvio Berlusconi got sentenced to four years in jail. Granted, it got reduced to one because in Italy if the court cases are a little slow (and Berlusconi is renowned for drowning Italian prosecutors in syrup), then the cases are nullified, or the sentences are slashed. This is known as the statute of limitations. Berlusconi's been tried for so many crimes that have simply disappeared because of the legal red tape he tied the prosecutors up in. I find it utterly bizarre that a (ex) world leader could close his eyes, put his fingers in his ears and say lalalalalalalalala and his problems melt away. If I'm ever in the dock, I may try that myself. And here's a thing. He actively changed the law to exaggerate this effect because the bastard knew he'd finally get done sooner or later. So now he's in jail for a quarter of the time that he should be. Well, for this particular crime. Berlusconi won't live long enough to have served the sentences for all the crimes that he's guilty for. What I'm trying to say is that I'm very happy that this man will finally go to jail, and that I'm going to recycle something that was in another blog that in any case I wrote last year because it's just so damn relevant. Ciao, bella!
Burlesque only? No, huge amounts of corruption too.
These
articles are meant to comprise of events that are unfolding, or have
unfolded recently, but I could write about the 74th richest man in the
world (according to Forbes) at any time, because he’s always in the
news. This man holds amongst his possessions the football club A.C
Milan. He is a politician, and all the palaver that went on in Britain
with MPs claiming expenses for duck houses and love seats simply pales
in comparison with what this man is alleged to have done. Ladies and
gentleman, I present to you the Prime Minister of Italy and Archduke of
Demons, Silvio Berlusconi.
It’s
difficult to know where to start with the man- the word limit on this
article means it’s utterly impossible to cover every “indiscretion” he
has been involved in, or has been alleged to be party to. We’ll start
with the press. He owns it. That is to say, he owns 3 of 7 channels
nationally broadcast on terrestrial television, and let’s say that the
Leader of the Italian Opposition doesn’t get much chance to appear in
party political broadcasts on them. Coupled with the power he has as
Prime Minister, being able to “strongly suggest” the choice of the
management bodies of the other channels, he effectively has control of
90% of all national television. He also owns the largest publishers in
Italy, which gives him the option to print sycophantic magazines and the
like, and his brother Paulo owns a newspaper. This is not right.
Imagine the uproar if Rupert Murdoch became an M.P and used his
affluence and influence to weasel his way to becoming the Prime
Minister. Berlusconi of course disagrees, explaining that if he is
looking out for everyone's interests as well as his own that there can't
be a conflict of interests.
Berlusconi
has an uncanny ability to be called to court, but he has hit upon a
rather handy way to make his legal problems go away. He has passed much
self-serving legislation, most key of which is shortening the amount of
time that crimes can be prosecuted for. He employs a cabal of lawyers to
make damn well sure that by the time the dust has settled and everyone
has stopped squabbling that by the time any of his cases come to trial,
the infringement was so long ago he is immune to prosecution- by his own
admission he has paid around 200,000,000 euros. However, he said that
he had spent this money over the years on consultants and judges, before
correcting himself to say consultants and lawyers. An easy mistake-a to
make-a, I'm sure.
We'll gloss over his mafia involvement and his
hiding behind political immunity and move straight onto what I like to
call “Things Berlusconi has said which make Prince Philip seem like a
diplomat.” On the father of fascism, Mussolini, he said "Mussolini never
killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on vacation in internal
exile.” This is the equivalent of Angela Merkel saying that the invasion
of Poland was actually a goodwill visit. He offered to act as a broker
in ushering in better relations with the U.S and the new Russian
President, commenting “I don't see problems for Medvedev to establish
good relations with Obama because he is young, handsome and even
tanned.” Perhaps best known is his bucking up of the population of the
Abruzo region that he toured after a devastating earthquake that killed
over 300 and made around 65,000 homeless. He asked those communities who
had lost their homes to think of it as a camping trip, and asked a
local councillor if he could fondle her. I wonder if even he would think
that's crass in retrospect.
So
what is it that people are actually starting to believe could topple
the man with the impossibly low political centre of gravity? It's too
depressing and detailed to fully chronicle here, but essentially it
involves lying to the police, abusing his position of power by having
sex with an underage prostitute. No doubt Signor Berlusconi will say
that this is just another example of the left trying to besmirch his
good name as they so often have before. One last quote from the great
man himself:
"I am without doubt the person who's been the most persecuted in the entire history of the world and the history of man."
To Silvio’s many characteristics we must also add dyslexia. He obviously was trying to say prosecuted.
Today's Tune
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