On Friday I shall be seeing C+C, who have moved locally from London because rent+travel to London jobs= less than London rent. Having travelled by train recently I can safely say that renting a house in London must be astronomically expensive. The only way to get a reasonably cheap rail fare is to book a seat on a train at a particular time of day for your as yet unborn grandchild and hope that on that day they might require to travel on the 14:37 to Skegness. However, I have recently discovered that I am entitled to a railcard that will give me 1/3 off rail fares. I intend to use the money I will save on buying a small army and launching a coup in Equitorial Guinea.
C is a disgrace of a friend. I spent years trying to tell him to listen to Jimi Hendrix and The Doors and Led Zeppelin, and then he went on some sort of interrailing tour of Europe and came back saying that some American had been playing some really good rock from the 60's and 70's, and that I should start listening to Hendrix, The Doors and Led Zeppelin. C, then, can be very slow on the uptake. I've been trying to convince him for his entire life that he's not as good at video games as me. Perhaps he needs a homoerotic encounter with an American to convince him otherwise.
C is C's long term girlfriend, half American and half Mexican. She seems to have taken like a duck to water with that most British of qualities, taking the piss and being taken the piss out of. I hope she is anyway, else every other thing I say to her is causing her to die a little more inside.
On Saturday, I am at THE VILLAGE CRICKET QUIZ. For reasons that escape me, I have a familiarity with this cricket team, despite not having played it properly. My mate R used to be the captain of the team, but the England Cricket Board said that he had to stand down on account of them being too good for everyone else. Anyway, people say that I am the ringer for the quiz team we'll be entering, but I reckon they could easily win without me. All the other people probably get more answers right on their own than I do, it's just that the ones I do get are the unbelievably obscure ones that people remember. Example: What d'you call the round pieces of card/paper that you are left with when you use a hole punch? Chads. There's two things I hate about quizzes. One is cheats, which are surely more prevalent in this day and age with the advent of interweb phones. When I am promoted from being Queen of England to being King of the World, I will redesignate where the military money will be spent. After all, I'll be King of the World and I wouldn't start a war with myself. One of the worthy causes would be funding the installation of an internet blocker for every quiz in the world. I'll say this- I realise the other thing I don't like about pub quizzes will probably make me sound like a wanker, which is fine as I may actually be a wanker in this regard. I really don't like people who think they are helping when they answer the questions that everyone else is answering anyway. It's not the fact that they don't know the other answers, some people might regard good recall for trivia as a sign of nerdiness (the arrogant twats). It's the fact that they think they are helping, when all they're doing is diluting the prize fund and winning money off of everyone else's back. Imagine someone tagging along with a builder, watching him do all the work and taking half of his wage. Now imagine that that someone who was watching the builder do all the work has some sort of totally unmitigated sense of pride in their achievement. And now you know how much of a wanker I am. Still not as much of a wanker as those quiz freeloaders, mind.
Today's Tune
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